Thank you for sharing your story, and so sorry to hear about your broken heart.

Sharing is not weak, it's strong. What's easy is keeping quiet and bottling up. What's hard is being vulnerable and real.

We're all going through similar things (human condition), while pretending what we're not. Doesn't seem like the way to go..

I feel like honesty is usually the best policy, so that if things don't work out, at least it's not for lack of clarity.

I can't give advice, I don't know your or her enough, but I can't help but wonder if it's clear to her that you think you made a mistake by leaving and how much it means to you.

Best of luck, there are ups and downs, but I'm sure you'll do good by being a good person in the choices that now face you. Take care 💚🥃

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Jun 5, 2021Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Frederik, this is exceptional stuff. Keep writing, keep living, keep loving. Per Rilke, embrace the questions and one day, you may slowly but surely live into the answers

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I love this. It is the perfect description of what happens when The Spectacle of the Real - https://edbrenegar.substack.com/p/the-spectacle-of-the-real - becomes personal. The Spectacle is a culture of simulation. It seduces us by our desire for - name it - love, wealth, significance, fulfillment, passion, etc. Whatever it is we are seduced by the pleasure (dopamine-rush) of feeling so full and alive. And then it is over, and the crash that follows leads to a rationalization that is essentially results a false-consciousness that alienates us from the world. Some people call that spirituality. Once, we arrive at this point, we are dead meat for the predators looking for people to control and exploit. However, if we embrace reality, and see these events as tests of our identity, our personhood, or our manhood, self-awareness becomes the greatest gift that the world as to offer. For then we are free. This is what I see in your story. Brene and you are right about mid-life. I don't like that word though. I just see it as a transitional milestone that just happens to occur some time between 35 and 50. And the after 65, then again after 80, and finally after 100. If we are so fortunate. I've only begun to read your stuff. You are an excellent writer. Don't let anyone convinced you otherwise. Let's talk soon.

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Hey @Larry - I saw your comment but seems like it's gone now? I don't have your email so in case you read this - thank you! You might be right.

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I love the "Writing to survive.". Good luck! Wonderfull piece. You are back on track!

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