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Looking forward to speaking with you in person about this, Frederik. A teacher of mine, Marcus Weston, once told me that there's a "period of disappearance" where you're in between two systems and you know that the old system no longer works for you but you haven't fully embraced the new system. I'm not expressing it properly but that idea of going through a period of disappearance certainly described it well for me. It's very disorienting, and I would say it lasted for several years, maybe a decade, where I felt pretty lost and almost at war with myself at times. For me, at a certain point, there was just a deep sense of letting go and trusting the process. There's a kind of slow-motion awakening of something new that's activated in a very mysterious way, and it feels like all of these forces are helping you along -- books, teachers, strangers, situations that teach you important lessons etc. As the Zohar says, "there are many helpers." So, even though it seems like a dark night of the soul, it's actually probably the opposite of that -- a kind of dawning of light. In retrospect, I think you look at the periods when you (or I, at least) felt maximally lost in the dark and it feels like you were being blessed.

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This is very much what it feels like. It's a wrestling with letting go and with figuring out what new thing is taking shape. I very much think of it as a blessing and leading to a dawn - at the same time I like the image of the dark night. Much of the work is being done in this disappearance and in the depth. And you are right, the fragments of what takes shape arrive in mysterious ways and from many corners. Thank you for sharing fragments of your journey, William. I look forward to talking about this.

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Feb 25Liked by Frederik Gieschen

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going

I do not see the road ahead of me

I cannot know for certain where it will end

Nor do I really know myself

And the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean

That I am actually doing so

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road

Though I may know nothing about it

Therefore will I trust you always though

I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death

I will not fear, for you are ever with me

And you will never leave me to face my perils alone”

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Beautiful, thank you for sharing a prayer.

Finding your way to the divine later in life is an interesting experience. All the old is new :)

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Feb 25·edited Feb 25Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Beautiful - thank you for this piece. I was not around for your old paradigm, but whatever shift is going on - know I'm here for it.

I recently wrote a piece about what I was trying to do with my Substack, it felt like me, not the mask. I have been on quite the journey of darkness, to put it in these terms, for some time now. While that is a story in and of itself, it led me to Substack, here, reading this piece - captivated and attention drawn to every word and image - you created meaningful art.

I've learned that in the darkness, attention is the principle of orientation, and it led me here. Thank you for the reminder, and from one explorer of the darkness (unconscious may be accurate here too) to another; I wish the best of luck to you and am here for whatever this turns into, as my attention demands.

"That which you need most, will be found where you least want to look."

Carl Jung

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Hi Dominic. Thank you for sharing. I love how you framed this: attention as the principle of orientation. The darkness can be confusing, yet it's so rich in substance if we allow ourselves to be guided. Wishing you all the best on your journey and I'm glad you decided to share with the world.

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Thank you, Frederik! Appreciate this and excited to see where your journey takes you.

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That was beautifully written. Any friend of Jed is a friend of mine. Let go of the tiller, see where life takes you. Ask who am I and see how deep you can comfortably take that question.

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Thank you! Enjoyed Jed (a Jim O'Shaughnessy recommendation) despite (or because of?) his snarky attitude :)

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Because of! His snark and thoroughbred irreverence is what makes him so legendary.

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Feb 25Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Been there. Done that. Get better and get stronger as possible. Catch you on the next letter.

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Mar 7Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Thanks for everything you share! Keep going on your journey and of course please take us along as we hopefully reflect and evolve with you.

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Feb 29Liked by Frederik Gieschen

I had to revisit this a few times. Thank you for prompting much to reflect on.

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Thank you for being a part of the journey, John!

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Feb 27Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Resonating with every line you wrote.

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Thank you, Nikhil!

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Feb 26Liked by Frederik Gieschen

I was trying to make myself write in my book this morning, but I'm glad I opted to stall by cleaning my inbox—reading your post was very much what my soul needed today. I'm very much smack dab in the middle between 2 systems as William Green shared below and had started losing sight of the meaning of this chapter, and had thus stopped sifting for the gold. Thanks much for what you share in general and particularly today

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Hi Emily, thank you and I'm so glad to hear it resonated with your soul.

I find my work comes in seasons and waves. Sometimes my conscious mind wants to write but my Self knows it's time to take a walk or read a few things which then unlocks the next moment of writing.

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Feb 26Liked by Frederik Gieschen

I love your pieces Frederik. I have tried to write you privately in the past but all is clearer to me now. No need to wear another mask. I find myself deeply (in the closest possible term) with your words, your feelings, your reflections. The wise man after all, is the one who has been wrong many times, but it is inevitable during a life's journey. Introspective work is a time everyone comes to and it is not madness: not by a long shot it is! I will continue to follow you on your wonderful journey without knowing where it will take us, because it is right that it should. Heraclitus said, "Change is the only constant."

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Hi Mirko. Thank you and I hope I didn't miss your email (more likely a DM? those get lost a lot). It does happen from time to time. I have moments when I blend out the various channels of communication and get lost in the unfolding of the work/play/world.

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Yes, I wrote you in DM on X (formerly Twitter) but don't worry. I started following you when you were talking about finance and I do too. I was writing to you because I had a chance to read your work and I'm really excited about your content. As a result, I added you to my list of recommendations on Substack. If you can read me that's fine, you'll find my message there at the bottom, otherwise don't worry. The important thing for me is to read you 😉

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This is a spectacular piece, really resonated, please continue to share as many steps along the way as you like Frederick and whistle a tune for those whose who feel their torches flickering

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Thank you, Jonathan 🙏

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Feb 26Liked by Frederik Gieschen

This is wonderful

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Thank you!

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Feb 26·edited Feb 26Liked by Frederik Gieschen

Loved it. Reminds me of similar thoughts I have been trying to process myself below

https://ranas9.substack.com/p/ivan-karamazov?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2

https://ranas9.substack.com/p/alyosha-karamazov?utm_source=profile&utm_medium=reader2

Would love to catchup if you're up for it

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... a time to gently close that door ..and then, a time to get off the beaten track.

Festina Lente, as the lovely Latin phrase reminds us. Be well.

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Indeed, a wonderful motto. Thank you and the same to you.

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Yeah touching essence will do that to ya. In a similar spot. Enjoying the ride, especially once I realized that I was on the path whether I liked it or not…

looking forward to tracking your journey, the value in sharing this perspective will far exceed the value a financial blog powerhouse would have created!

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Some things can't be unseen, unheard, unspoken. Wishing you the best on your ride 🌀

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Moving piece. It reminds me of when the Apostle Paul said: "Affliction produces patience, patience produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not disappoint." God bless!

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